It took eighty-one years and three previous nominations (Pop Quiz! When, what and who? No fair Googling!) but the Old Boy’s School better know as the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences finally had to break protocol and award the first ever Best Director Oscar to Kathryn Bigelow. This victory was especially sweet because not only did Bigelow absolutely deserve it, she also spared us another cornball acceptance speech from her ex James Cameron. Thank you, Lord, one more chest-beating-Navi-lingo performance from that man and there would have been some blue hued 3-D barfing taking place in my living room!

 

Bigelow had me hooked with her directorial debut in 1987. “Near Dark” is a hip film nour-ish vampire flick and while the ending doesn’t quite work, but her mastery of baiting an audience’s breath does; suspense is her friend and they have lunch often. “The Hurt Locker” works on so many levels, but her amazing sense of never letting the viewer off the hook because something could literally explode at any moment is relentless. Bigelow doesn’t take it easy on anyone, specifically characters portrayed by better known actors. She put a new perspective of how war affects the warriors and it was not feminine, feminist or pretty in the least. She delivered an honest human experience. 

 

So the Academy really didn’t have a choice, the ball was in Bigelow’s court, she put out exactly what they love to love and she looked hot doing it, too. But that didn’t mean the Old Boys didn’t have to come across a little condescending…why did Barbra Streisand have to present the award? Not only was it a dead give away, but if you look up, “respected film director” in the dictionary you won’t see her snooze anywhere on the page. And why, oh why, OH WHY did the orchestra play the god-awful anthem “I Am Woman” as Bigelow made her way to accept her award? It’s surprising that she didn’t also get a pat on the ass for being such a good girl as she exited the stage. The entire presentation seemed geared to minimize the exceptional work of a talented director who has paid her dues. Never look a gift horse in the mouth, but a lot less cheesy goo would have been appreciated, at least from this particular cranky chick’s perspective.

 

Okay, ready for the pop quiz answers? The four women nominated for Best Director:

 

1976: Lina Wertmuller for “Seven Beauties” (the award went to John G. Avidlsen for “Rocky”)

 

1993: Jane Champion for “The Piano” (the award went to Steven Spielberg for “Shindler’s List”)

 

2003: Sofia Coppola for “Lost in Translation” (the award went to Peter Jackson, “The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King”)

 

The encouraging message from this list of women nominees is that they all deserved to make the short list and their achievement was appropriately recognized. Those Old Boys aren’t going to give out their precious awards just because we’re cute (unless you’re Sandra Bullock) and if you want to play, you better be on top of the game. We’re up to the challenge, so watch out boys!