Lately, people have asked some of the following questions: -Why do you go out of your way to see people “do their thing” in this industry?
-After working a 12 hour day in engineering, why on earth would you drive an hour to come see me act in a scene that only lasts 5 minutes?
-Why do you spend time reading and giving me honest feedback on whatever I’m working on without being a prick?
My answer to those questions begins in 2002, when I graduated high school.
In high school, I dealt with everything behind the scenes: musicals, school rallies, and the daily announcements show on the school’s closed circuit TV system. That daily show gave me the greatest high on earth. It was like a drug addiction at times, and I loved it. So when college came around, I knew I wanted to work in TV news but just didn’t know how to do it. I did know that it would be hard work, but that never really scared me.
I listed Film/TV as a major on one of my colleg apps - boy, was that a mistake. When my mom saw that, her eyes had a shocked, surprised, and discontented look, and she told me, “You’re going to school for engineering.”
I tried to argue with her, but that failed. She told me that if I didn’t study engineering in college, she wasn’t going to pay, and I wasn’t going. Well screw me. Being 17, I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I knew is that I had to go to college so I caved and accepted her judgment.
I entered UCI in the Fall of 2002, and began studying electrical engineering. I
-After working a 12 hour day in engineering, why on earth would you drive an hour to come see me act in a scene that only lasts 5 minutes?
-Why do you spend time reading and giving me honest feedback on whatever I’m working on without being a prick?
My answer to those questions begins in 2002, when I graduated high school.
In high school, I dealt with everything behind the scenes: musicals, school rallies, and the daily announcements show on the school’s closed circuit TV system. That daily show gave me the greatest high on earth. It was like a drug addiction at times, and I loved it. So when college came around, I knew I wanted to work in TV news but just didn’t know how to do it. I did know that it would be hard work, but that never really scared me.
I listed Film/TV as a major on one of my colleg apps - boy, was that a mistake. When my mom saw that, her eyes had a shocked, surprised, and discontented look, and she told me, “You’re going to school for engineering.”
I tried to argue with her, but that failed. She told me that if I didn’t study engineering in college, she wasn’t going to pay, and I wasn’t going. Well screw me. Being 17, I didn’t know what to do. The only thing I knew is that I had to go to college so I caved and accepted her judgment.
I entered UCI in the Fall of 2002, and began studying electrical engineering. I
hated every minute of it. I argued with both my parents almost every day and some nights, the discussion would last until one in the morning. I’d blame them for everything: failing tests, not being able to party, having labs on Friday night until 10 p.m. Eventually, my parents told me that I could switch, but being so far into it and stubborn, I decided to stick it out. The sense of isolation I felt was intense but I didn't understand how to change any of that at the time.Since I hated my major, but was doing well enough to pass, I decided that I should get a job. At least, I’d have some money so I can have some fun. I got a job as a parking attendant then worked my way up to a traffic director.
I didn’t get support there either; as the head of the parking/transportation department told a group of new hires: if you’re an engineering or science major you won’t last here since you can’t handle the chaos and the people.
Great. Screw me times 2. Here I was with a major I hated and a job where I was already told that I wouldn’t make it. And it was only Day 2. Support? What's that?
Eventually, I worked my way up to a traffic director, and I was so good at controlling the flow of traffic and pedestrians that I became a traffic trainer without going through the official training. One year the Irvine and UCI Police departments wrote letters saying how impressed they were with my skills and professionalism while directing traffic at accident scenes. The Irvine PD even called my direct supervisor after an accident saying how effective I had been. Not bad for someone who was initially told he probably couldn't handle the chaos.
I remember thinking how funny the whole thing was - a dude who was lost in his own life could so effectively help other people find their way. There has to be some sort of cosmic joker up there pulling strings.
At the end of that year, I shifted majors and got an engineering internship. I had my traffic director gig, and was doing better than I ever had in engineering. My job dissatisfaction was somewhat resolved but I still felt like I was alone on an island of emotional turmoil without anyone who understood what I was going through.
At the height of the economic boom in 2007, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering. A job with a signing bonus was waiting for me. While I didn’t always like engineering, I did like the pay. Money solves a lot of problems and quiets a lot of those inner voices shouting at you about how you're not doing the things you want to od.
Fantastic, I thought, I’ve done everything right. I finished college, have a job, and will be making some decent coin. I flew up to San Jose to celebrate with my family and friends feeling pretty good about myself and what I had accomplished.
A day before the celebration, I showed my mom my signing bonus. She had that same shocked, surprised, and discontent look in her eyes that I had seen years earlier. “What? Is that all you make," she said with a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. "Did you know that nurses make more than you do?”
At the end of that year, I shifted majors and got an engineering internship. I had my traffic director gig, and was doing better than I ever had in engineering. My job dissatisfaction was somewhat resolved but I still felt like I was alone on an island of emotional turmoil without anyone who understood what I was going through.
At the height of the economic boom in 2007, I graduated with a bachelor’s degree in civil engineering. A job with a signing bonus was waiting for me. While I didn’t always like engineering, I did like the pay. Money solves a lot of problems and quiets a lot of those inner voices shouting at you about how you're not doing the things you want to od.
Fantastic, I thought, I’ve done everything right. I finished college, have a job, and will be making some decent coin. I flew up to San Jose to celebrate with my family and friends feeling pretty good about myself and what I had accomplished.A day before the celebration, I showed my mom my signing bonus. She had that same shocked, surprised, and discontent look in her eyes that I had seen years earlier. “What? Is that all you make," she said with a voice that sounded like nails on a chalkboard to my ears. "Did you know that nurses make more than you do?”
Huh? What? Great...just great. Screw me times 3.
She showed me one of her pay stubs. Pointing at her hourly wage, she asked me if I could read “that number.” How could I compete with that? She’s been a nurse for over 20 years at a county hospital, where I’m just getting started.
That was like a kick to the stomach. I felt sick. I stormed off just as angry when I found out that I had to study engineering. To this day, I hate seeing my degree. I took the copy I had off my office wall, and always feel like ripping it off my parents wall every time I go back to San Jose.
That night, I told myself that I had to do this TV thing I had dreamed of for so long no matter what. I spent the rest of 2007 researching. I went to the local community college for classes. I started a little slow, but when the economy crashed in 2008 I decided to drop to part-time as an engineer to take more classes in the field I loved.
As I started getting more involved with my classes, I started meeting a lot of different people in the industry. People who were either living my dream or working toward it.
She showed me one of her pay stubs. Pointing at her hourly wage, she asked me if I could read “that number.” How could I compete with that? She’s been a nurse for over 20 years at a county hospital, where I’m just getting started.
That was like a kick to the stomach. I felt sick. I stormed off just as angry when I found out that I had to study engineering. To this day, I hate seeing my degree. I took the copy I had off my office wall, and always feel like ripping it off my parents wall every time I go back to San Jose.
That night, I told myself that I had to do this TV thing I had dreamed of for so long no matter what. I spent the rest of 2007 researching. I went to the local community college for classes. I started a little slow, but when the economy crashed in 2008 I decided to drop to part-time as an engineer to take more classes in the field I loved.As I started getting more involved with my classes, I started meeting a lot of different people in the industry. People who were either living my dream or working toward it.
I made connections, I talked and talked to everyone, and I hustled. I helped out whenever I could. For some of the people I met, I could sense that they were in the industry for the wrong reasons and basically ignored them. With others, I felt a sincerity and genuine love for the industry - no matter how difficult it could get.
I was hungry to share my world with others who were like-minded. For those with a genuine love, I ended up going to their shows, seeing their movies, reading their work, helping with their stories. I gave as much support as I could whenever I could because I knew already just how hard this industry can be. I also know how painful it can be to not get the support you need and crave and vowed never to turn my back on anyone who needed that support. Just being there to see someone perform or when people are working can be really valuable. A smiling face means a lot to someone who feels isolated - take it from someone who knows.
Eventually, working and hustling made some connections that allowed me do press coverage for the Orange Country Screenwriters at the Newport Beach Film Festival I got to tape interviews at the opening night of the Festival for OCSWA and it was like a wide-awake dream.
Eventually, working and hustling made some connections that allowed me do press coverage for the Orange Country Screenwriters at the Newport Beach Film Festival I got to tape interviews at the opening night of the Festival for OCSWA and it was like a wide-awake dream. I remember standing next to people from NBC, the LA Times, and the OC Register with my "news partner" Tom Sullivan at my first red carpet event ever; to be there as a member of the press was such a privilege.
I ended up not being able to sleep that night since I was so high.
The Orange County Screenwriters Association is really my first support group. I never really got the support I needed all along my eight year journey The Orange County Screenwriters is one of the few places that does provide that support - it's in their mission statement. It is support that I never knew existed in this industry or this area.
I can’t work in news full-time yet, so I’m living this crazy (to me) double life. Engineer by day, and TV news guy by night.
Now, how’s that mom? Two careers, not one. I still don’t know what she thinks of me now, but it doesn't matter. I have the support I need to make me feel like what I'm doing is what I should be doing.
It’s rough sometimes, but now I’m so lucky to have found the support that I’ve been needing. I’m grateful to everyone who has shared their stories with me, and supported me in the a way I never thought possible.
Just know that if I show up at your show, or read your material, or drive an hour or so just to see you perform for five minutes, it’s because I believe in your talent, and want to give you the damned support that I never really got - until now.
